The clouds and field are a really pretty background.

Cute

I feel the same way. How have you been?
AWESOME DRAWING!
I need to start drawing again

Just taking care of my son and cleaning almost all day. I graduated a few years so i dont have school anymore i sort of envy those who have school and get to learn more.

That's true ^-^
I'm not doing much right now but in the future i will do so many things and explore the world.
Do you have a career path your set on?

Haha maybe ^-^ I cant decide either so i'll just do it all ^-^

Or you can be an actor or actress and get to do alot of things you want without having to switch jobs so often

Well then that's one career that got crossed off your list ^-^ narrowing it down one by one :p

lumenella, I'm just as confused by this world as you are. . . .
@-@

I think my last drawing was OK, but I feel like I've hit my peak. I just can't see my drawings getting any better. It's sad and I wish it wasn't true, but I wasn't planning on becoming a professional artist anyway. I'll still use Colors!, just don't expect me to get any better as an artist.

I used to be more positive and thought my art was actually pretty good, but the more I hear what others think about it the less I think so. A while ago my brother called my pictures pieces of **** and won't stop insulting me about them. My other siblings agree with him because they believe he was always a child prodigy at art, and mom thinks my whole existence is wrong. I don't show my drawings to my friends because they'll probably think they're awful too. On Colors!, i get nice comments- and its not like I don't trust anyone here- but all my life people were only nice to me because they pitied me. Now, I just draw because it's routine for me and makes me forget about everything else. I'm mostly a moving shell, when you think about it. Only existing because that's what's expected of it.
I'm sorry, I feel bad for dropping all of my emotional baggage on you. You don't have to reply to this if you don't want to, it just feels better to have it out there and not all locked up inside like I usually do.

I'm pretty sure that was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, so thank you. As for my family, They always talk about times when things were better, (they used to go on vacations and stuff like that) but then I was born. Everything went down hill after that and now I'm just the random child that no one thinks will amount to anything. I've always thought my mom was meant to only have 3 children not 4.

And I almost forgot about the O.C. I gave you, that has always been one of my favorite pictures. To be honest, I thought you just pretended to like her because you didn't want to make a (I think I was) 13 year-old girl feel bad!

I used to be alot more positive about things, but the last couple of years have been really bad. This year has been the worst, though. I used to thing someone had to be crazy- even if they had a crummy life- to commit suicide, but now its the only thing I think about when I'm alone. It would save my parents money to not have to worry about feeding another mouth and my siblings would be rid of me. I told my mom I would kill myself once- I wasnt joking- and she said, "How soon? I'm tried of you anyways." I had tried suffocating myself, but was too much of a wimp to go through with it. That was the worst day of my life. Now my mom continues to ask me when I'm leaving as a sick joke. Writing this dose make me feel selfish, becuase even if I have it bad other people most likely have it worse. I should be more focused on helping other people, rather than wallowing in my problems. (Cont.)

I get having people with high expectations of you, I'm a "gifted" (I hate using that word in my mind it means "different" and in many others it means "better", but I am not better than anyone else.) child. At school I've always tried hard to make my parents proud, but it hasn't made a difference to them. Yet, at school I'm always being pressured to be more perfect. I assume it's the same way for you. Nobody is perfect and a person's flaws define as much of who they are as their acomplishments do. To me, flaws are just more things to enjoy about a person.
I'm sorry your family has been hit by the economic crisis. You really don't desurve it. Your a kind, talenteted, determined, and (as far as I can tell) intelligent person. Sometimes I just don't understand why people with so much potential are shown so much misfortune.
I really do hope I will get a chance to read your manga, I can tell it's going to be successful.

I'm used to keeping things inside. Mainly because people don't listen to what I say anyway. If I try saying something to my family I'm called "winey", "bratty", or other other less kind words. From that I've learned not to say anything because the chances of them caring are slim. Honestly, I'm suprized you've been listening to me for this long.
I can't believe your parents think your a failure! Your obviously smart and every one has highs and lows in school. Your probably busy with homework, collage aplications, art, a social life, and a bucket full of other things. With all of that to think about no wonder your grades dropped a little, most jouniors and seniors have grade drops. You parents probably just don't understand the amount of work you have, but that in no way means your a failure!
And I'm sure you'll finish your manga! Were else is that storytelling and art talent going to go? And whatever convention ends up booking you as a special guest, I will be at it!

And I'm going to try to be more positve about things, but it might take a while. . . . .