So beaut

ehh i'm actually really glad im not entering ^^" this competion is too hard! so many awesome entries X-X"

so beautiful :D
i love this!

@Jexlo we can talk here instead of your post, just to be safe

i feel quite bad for bringing you into this stuff, but your the only friend i currently have that i can rely on. aslo trust.

but basically, everything that happened:

so, the first time i disappeared, it was july or last year. july 3rd is when my mother said she supported me, and o.
july 28th, she took him away from me.. a good reason though, she seen he was toxic. controlling, manipulating.. etc.. so he was gone.. for exactly 6 months. my phone was taken, my switch was taken--

it was the worst 6 months of my life. o meant a lot to me.. he was my bsf, i would even say soulmate. it is a weird relationship.
but, my mom told me i could talk to him again, this year, jan 28th. it was the first time i ever actually calmed him otp. my mother made me.. (not in a bad way)

so we talked, he apologized, and it was truly from his heart, that he was sorry. i knew that..

anyways, we spoke and everything was perfect, he was kind, he was awesome.. he learned what he done to me was wrong.

we called each other a few times.. and those were the happiest moments of my life...

until they werent..

my mother didnt like how long i was spending talking to him.. my whole day was consumed by him.. from the moment i woke up, to the moment i went to bed, we talked.

in February, me and my family went on a trip. we were on different time, so it was a bit difficult to talk all day long with him, since we woke up, and went to bed on different houses.

hours*

for some reason.. when we went on that trip.. he changed..
when we arrived and got off the plan, i was was told i had a pretty shirt by a girl my age, which was super exciting, since i dont get anything said about me in public places... so i was happy, i told o.. and he was.. mad..

i didnt understand why.. i was kinda bumbed after that.. but afterwards, things were normal again.

about 1 month later, i was wanting to get a job, but he didnt want me to. he feared i would find someone else.

he made me promise i would get an online job. but i didnt want to.. but i promised..

its not entirely his fault for fearing.. he also feared something bad would happen to me..

i never got a job.. but anyways.. him and my mom got into an argument over messages. (she had me give him her number when we started talking again) he was asking about making me get an online job, she didnt like that.

so, that happened. ever since then... my mental heath was going down.. march 26th, i got in a fight--

with my mom... it didnt have anything to do with o, but she told me to give her my phone, all my codes, all my emails, passwords...
she read our texts. she said o never changed, but he did.. we was so much kinder, caring.. respectful.. but we did get in a few minor arguments..

anyways.. she seen him being controlling, and manipulating.. so.. she took my phone again.. without anything said from me..

its been 3 months.

she told me to never talk to him again, and if i do, i'll be kicked out. idk if she means it, but as much as i love o.. the thought of being removed from my home over a boy.. scares me..

so.. i do as she wishes.. i have not tried to sneak and speak to him at all.. though, my heart wants to so bad.. i cannot be kicked out.
so, thats why i also need to keep a low profile.. because if o finds out im active here, im scared he'll say something to my mom..

i miss him so much.. despite all hes done to me.. i felt something.. yk..? we were gonna meet irl soon.. but.. that was ruined..

if my mom finds out im on the internet, i also might get in serious trouble.. she if planning on possibly giving my phone back.. but i am banned from speaking with o, if that happens.
idk about you though, i might speak with her about that... sorry i never got around to asking for your number, but i was truly going through a lot of confusion, and mental stuff..

sorry for the long, long ah messages... but theres he story..

the*

my heart hurts awfully bad sometimes.. and i do cry...but i'm trying to move on.. but 3 years.. idk its hard.. but thank you jex for still being here for me.. <3 i think we have officially been friends for a year! so thats cool :)

im also sorry if this is too much for you to handle.. ik some people dont like the "venting" stuff.. but your my bsf..

oh another thing, o wont stop contacting me, my mom, and even my grandpa.. so.. my moms upset about that.. thats like stalking behavior or something..? pretty toxic..

i see why people say online dating is dangerous now..
also, the users on here.. ik this is gonna sound so silly.. but yk sugarsweets and her bf here..? just found out they met in person.. i got upset.. because i wanted that to be me and o... but some things just.. cant be like that.. so..

im done rambling now.. thank you jex..<3 im here now if you ever wanna talk to me about things happening with you..<3 we can use your post to just talk about normal things, this one was just for these messages

@Lingering__Ghost
holy ****.. im so sorry tht happenedto you.. but i kinda get your mom. he id definitely toxic, but i think its a bit much to threaten to kick you out. btw, things like venting, i dont mind at all. I was gonna ask what happened, but i didn't want to sound rude or anything. Please know im always here for you, and SO SO SO glad to finallytalk to you :)

thank you so much, jex. i really appreciate your friendship. your very dear to me.. i always known he was a toxic person, still i felt some connection with him.. thats something i cant explain.. i truly did love that one..
i dont think my mother is serious.. still, its a scary thought..

i guess you can always love, care, and think of a person.. but your gut, and mind, will tell you its not a good situation.. your heart will always want to go back to ones you care for, even if they are

toxic.. he would build me up, make me fall hard for him.. then tear me down. and when someone mentally abuses you like that.. its just very difficult to move on.. your so use to the love.. then pain.. that you need it to feel okay..
i know at the moment im not speaking to him, but for my future self, i'll probably speak to him.. once im moved out.. because im that foolishly in love.. i wish i wasnt stupid.. but idk man.. he was like my first real love..

but yes, i'm very glad we are speaking again.. i held so much inside, its a kind thing your letting me get this out. im feeling a lot better.. thank you so much jex.. <3 you'll always have a special place in my heart sibling.. :)

@Jexlo

@Lingering__Ghost
literary tearing up- your like one of tye only people i call my sibling, and your the kindest of them <3/p

if you go back to him, PLEASE dont let him hurt you :(
it may seem really good at first, but we bot know He'lljut tear you apart again..
but i do understand the pain. i hve a friendjust like that, and i always go back. it really ishard to stay away

aww, your one of the kindest people on here.. and apart from my actual sibling, your the only one i call that too. <3

for some reason, hearing your concern about him hurting me.. is different from my mothers.. yet the same.. but coming from you, it just makes me think.. as of right now, i am really trying to stay away.. because i know he does make me sad.. but also so happy at times.. he would make me smile so much.. there would just be moments where he would just lash out.

i remember one time we were playing an imessage game, it was connect 4, it was our favorite. but this was the last time we played.. i guess i was taking to long at moving, but only because my mom was talking to me at the same time i was playing. he told me i was "trying too hard". he got so mad.. i was actually shaking, i wanted to throw my phone so bad. when i told him i didnt even know what he was talking about, and that i was, i was just talking to my mom at the same time, he called me a--

gaslighter. which truly hurt. because i wasnt even gaslighting. as i had all these thoughts, "wait was i trying too hard?" "maybe hes right.", he turns his phone all the way off, so my messages dont get through until he turns it back on. i thought he blocked me. i had being alone with racing thoughts about if i did something. (soon found out he didnt-) but i wrote him so many messages. and I APOLOGIZED. smh.. after every argument, he does always apologize, also says the argument was his fault.

he seen his wrong, but i hated that night. and like every time, i accepted the apology, and everything was fine again.

its very difficult loving a toxic person, i just hope we both can learn to stay away from our toxic people.. but its so challenging. our minds only like to think of the best things that happened, so we just stay in the loop of toxicity.

but again, thank you jex.. <3

@Jexlo

funny how at your age, your more mature, than someone who is 18, and was supposed to be my life partner.
just be careful with relationships online. luckily i see you found yourself a good one. :) (you guys are actually so cute wth :c)

i'm gonna be gone for a few days. i'm waiting for when my dang post can be uploaded D: i can only upload once every 24 hours >:c and dw, its for a short trip. its not because anything bad happened. :)

@Lingering__Ghost
ok, i cant wait to see your next post!!
just try as hard as you can o kee away. because the way he made you feel is in no way healthy. Please be careful!!

thank you jex, i will try my best. i dont wanna disappoint anyone, its just my heart is foolish. love you sibling<3

@Jexlo

@Lingering__Ghost
love you too :)
i wont ever lave you. all ill do it encourage you to keep awayfrom toxicity, but if you go back, vent to me about ANYTHING. qnd tell m EVERYTHING he does, and says. (not forced)

@Jexlo why are you like my bestest friend ever :sob: :heart: your amazing jex :c <3 i for sure will. thank you so much <3 feel free vent to me about anything too! <33

@Lingering__Ghost
:]

im back ^.^

i didnt get to see my cousin -n- BUT we did go to the waterpark, so that was coolio! also, i see you put my username in your bio! im kinda nervous about that- idk if o will suspect its be, cause if he clicks the username, he might know my artstyle.... so idk.. but you can keep it there! im just overthinking.. im trying to change my artstyle so he wont know IF he does stumble on my profile.. but its difficult :c

anyways i wanna tell you about stuff that happened at the water park-

it is a bit of a vent..? but i might write it in my journal instead, because i dont really feel the best putting all my problems on you.. it just dont feel right to me

but i love ya jex ^^ i've been thinking a lot these few days, how lucky i am your still my best friend :) my siblinggggg ^u^

@Jexlo hdhdhhs forgot to put your user lol

jesus.. jex.. dude.. he changed his bio... its like he tries contacting me every time im thinking of him heavily.. this is why i know we are soulmates... but hes toxic.. :( i actually wanna cry...

please do remove my username though... cause now im scared i didnt think he was on here..

why did i look. im so dumb. i wanna cry.

i'll stay strong though. everyone is counting on me..

jex what if he already knows???

**** im changing my usename-

ik this is gonna sound crazy, but once in a while, you should act like im still gone on my main account (most recent post) and like comment "i miss you so much, hope you return soon" or something so it looks less suspicious

im sorry im making you do all this, i feel like a horrible friend, but i cant risk him knowing.. yk..?

why do i let him affect my heart like this.. when im more calm, and less tired, i will tell you what happened at the water park, and why him doing this is even more crazy. i have been thinking of him so much today i wont even lie.. and now.. to see he was doing the same.. idk..

dude i think i gotta ask my mom for a *********.. but she dont believe in that really..

ther a pist

smh im so sorry jex..

i know how it feels to be your age having to deal with keeping your friends straight.. and i literally hate myself for doing this **** to you.

im gonna leep, dont freak out about all this.. just remove my name.. (no rush, i changed my name).. also sorry, im not meaning this to be mean at all, dont take it the wrong way, just yk my situation..

love you jex,, talk to you soon <3

sleep*

@Jexlo idk if you seen all these messages, but again i'm sorry

also i think my brother is catching onto me.. but i played it off pretty good so idk..

@_Ghost_
Omg, im so so sorry, i didn't see these messages :(
ill removeth nme right away!
ill comment on your recentpost too.
Please keep strong!! your doing to good!

@Jexlo thank you so much, i really appreciate you.. :(
i'm sorry btw.. i really hope all this isnt too much.. and btw, you have nothing to be sorry about, so dont worry.. <3

btw, happy (one day late) 4th of july :) i hope your day was good!

@_Ghost_
Thanks! you as well!!
its never too much. trust me, i genuinely cand hold a lot.
for others, and myself. if yiu need to vent, dnt even hesitateto do so!!

@Jexlo thank you jex <333

@_Ghost_
anytime <3 :]

@Jexlo ^^

JEXJEXDJJEJJXJJJSJEXJEJEJ GUESS WHATTTTDHHSH

******************************************************************************************

bruh tagged your user :sob:

@Jexlo @Jexlo @Jexlo

I GOT MY FIRST LITTLE QUICK JOB FOR ONE OF MY MOMS FRIENDSSSS HEHHEHEHE

its not in like a building or anything- i was jut helping around their yard, picking up rocks in their field and stuff

BUT I GOT $40 BUCKS SO YIPPEEE

i worked 2 hours >:0 im so tired- i feel a bit light headed too- i think i pushed myself too much lol

this is excitinggggggg now im ready to get an actual job i feel ^o^

oh alsoOoOOoO idk if you ever heard of a 'boys and girls club' but i might be going to one with my brother and two (not blood) little cousinssss ^u^ im a bit scared, since i dont socialize much.. but im excited at the same time!

i might be offline for a few days also- :c

BUT THINGS ARE STARTING TO LOOK UP <33

@_Ghost_
YOOOOO!!
NICEEE 40 MONEYSSS
I SIMPLY COULDN'T ITS SOOO HOT OUT THIS WEEK
btwww, i d know a girls and boys club. i go to one lol

@Jexlo dude istg it was so hot in michigan >:( but thats super cool!!! whats it like? i never really been to one :c

@_Ghost_
its really fun!!
i mean, maines probably a lot different. but we gp outsidea lot. im taking a break this week though. its WAY to hot. like 80's and 90's

@Jexlo oo yay ^v^ i'm trying to mentally prepare myself- like i haven't been by people my age since 2017, which was my last time in public school

i know people have changed A LOT since 2017, so i'm just a littttleeee bit freaked out :c since i'm also gonna be my teenagers, and like, teenagers make me nervous :sob: i'm still a little kid D: (not really lol, i'm 17, but still >:c)

OMG DUDE SPEAKING OF MAINE- totally random, but i got another cat in sept, and she was a kitten when we got her :c shes a maine **** though :0

c o o n :sob: whys that blocked

@_Ghost_
if anyone say ANYTHING mean, im fr running over.

SHES SO FURRY
i still really miss mochi though at times :((

aww :< bruh your so sweet <3

@_Ghost_
MAINECOON!!?????? AHHHHDYGE&EHD AWWWWWWW

YEEAHHHH ^v^ she was my birthday present :3 (oct 19th) and she was expensive- so that was literally my only gift, but she was worth it :3 shes a bit of a butthead though xD

dude she almost looks like how you color maggie :3 i forget what my cats color is called :c

@Jexlo

@CubCrumbs
whats her name????

@CubCrumbs
SORRY-
OML
I MENT TO TAG SOMEONE ELSE SO SO SORRY

@CubCrumbs
</p
OTHER CHAT BESTIE

@_Ghost_
lols

GDHHSHSHHCHDHHWSN lmao @Jexlo
her names Hazal though :3

@_Ghost_
Awwww!!
SNACH

@Jexlo lol >u< but me and my mom thought it was a perfect name, since hazal is a autumn flower? :3 and we got her in fall :D she'll be 11 months on dah 10th :3

@_Ghost_
AHHHHFEIEHFHEE AWWWWWW

HOW BIG IS SHE??

uhm, a lot bigger than my moms litte ah cat lmaooo @Jexlo

my moms cat was born a shrimp though lol bruh i wish i could show you them side by side >v<

@_Ghost_
AHHHFHEUEHEU
i love cats
i wish i could see the kitty
im s in love with cats

@Jexlo i know :'3 sameeee i just wanna squeeeeeeezeeee every cute little furrball i see :<

i'm sure you'll see you one day though i hopeeee :D

her* why'd i type you :sob:

@_Ghost_
yayyy!!!
:DD

@Jexlo so how are your little cats doing? :c

@_Ghost_
very good!!
izzy being fat, and maggie being amongus fr

@Jexlo thats so cute :c
bruh hazal is a little food hog lmfao angel cant even eat, hazal just pushes her away :sob: shes gonna be fat like izzy, i already know it lmao

i wonder if our cats would make good friends, probably not angel though, she hates everything new lol

@_Ghost_
AHHH
same fr mag
she hates when someonenew comes over lol
i think our cats are the same-
my cats NEVER get along

bruh imagine- because both our cats are almost the same colors-

but angel will literally hide for the whole time someone is at our home, like starve herself and all, just so she doesnt socialize lmfao and she also gets annoyed with hazal, since she's playful and angel, not so much at times lol so she hisses at poor hazal -n-

@Jexlo

@_Ghost_
BRO-
EXACTLY MAGGIE :sob:

@Jexlo NO WAYYYYY :sob: thats so freaken cuteeeee

my mom is rehoming Hazal.

on monday i have to hand her bak to the girl.

@Jexlo

i have no choice, since shes peeing on things, my mom said you cant stop that when they start.

@_Ghost_
WHAT!!???
NO, WHY????

my mom seems happy and relieved, like when she took o from me.

not to mention, that was suppose to be me and his cat.. we agreed, since he never had a cat, i thought we could share her.. and that,was gonna be our family cat..
but like him, now shes gone.
i knew my mom didnt mean what she said, like when she promised me she wasnt gonna go through my phone.
"shes your cat, i promise i wont ever rehome her"
i love my mom to death, but its like tf? why do i keep trusting you. she calls me the liar, she says she cant trust ME. why?

because i needed and wanted someone? because i feared yur reaction? it wasnt good at first. she did just as i thought she would.

and you know what, she was jealous of o. i could literally tell. THATS WHY SHE HATED ME TALKING TO HIM ALL DAY. why would she care? he was taking all my time, and she couldnt stand it.
istg, im so upset. i couldnt say no, please dont give her back. why? because she would get pissed that i would go with what she wants.

@Jexlo "shes too much"

all my mom does is buy her the stuff she needs, i take care of her.

jex, im so tired of getting attached to things. this is why i cant even hardly cry about o, because i KNEW it was coming again. i KNEW she would make me leave him again.

he wasnt even THAT bad. i know, he did have issues, but he would make me forget everything wrong going on with my life, he would always try to make me happy when sht like this happens. just like shen mochi had to go, he helped me.

i only have 6 days with her.. and shes staying at my grandpas.

im sorry if im saying too much..

im just tired of things that i love getting taken from me..

your literally all i have left that my mother hasnt taken.
i mean technically she did, but i have the demo, and thats why i can still talk to you.

and if i didnt fear o texting my mom, then i would speak to him too. because im just over this. how dare my mom mke me fear her reactions so much, yk.

@_Ghost_
no, its ok.
thats seriously ****** up. she GAVE you her for your birthday!!! you should be able keep the damn cat! thats actually the dumbest thing ive ever heard a parent say. im so so sorry.. please know im always here :(

thats not how a mom should raise her kid. thatd just not right

@Jexlo exactly. :( i guess i get why she has to.. she is messing things up, and peeing places she shouldnt, and thats bad i guess.. but my mom said she would see if she could get her fixed before, and now shes just giving her back.
then she said yesterday, i could have our other bird, and today, she said not to get attached because she might sell her.
its fr like what the actual h3ll?
i dont get how she can mess with my emotions the way she does, and expect me to just be fine.

shes making me have trust issues.
i cant even tell what people are saying, is it real or fake?
and o didnt start acting out until my mom fcked with him.

what i didnt tell you, is whn she got mad at me, she would take it out on him. the last night we spoke, she called him a ashole for no reason. and she would tell him that we're done, and hes never speaking to me again.

i'm sorry if i keep talking about o, i dont think you like him very much anymore..
but if you knew the full story, you'd get it..

he did try so hard to change fo me. she would bring him down saying "you never changed"

its like tf??? thats why he went back. because she kept making him believe he never changed, when he did. he tried so hard, and i knew the love he had was real.
that was our cat.. she was gonna be our family pet. ik it sounds silly..

everything is so frustrating. me and you were just talking about our cats.. i was in a great mood.
then wham.
Hazals gone, just like o.

@_Ghost_
thats truly awful..
your mom is acting completely immature. taking it out on someone she DOESN'T KNOW?? Thats so ****** up.
i dont hat him, i see the gid in him, anf i seethe bd in him.
whatever choice for feelings you hqve in him, i wont try to interfere with. not ever. love can be confusing sometimes, and i get it completely

love really is confusing..
again, i love my mom to death, i know she means well, and i know she tries very hard for me, and my brother.
but that dosnt mean i have to agree with her all the time.
dont you think i should make my own decisions about someone who i've taken the time to know more?
all she's done is text him a bit. she has not taken the time to really get to know him.
shes stalked his socials, and background searched him, and his family. but that dosnt mean she fully knows him.

i get mad, and frustrated with him. but in the end, we solve our problems, and continue loving each other.
i couldnt entirely blame him for getting mad at my mom.
and yes, hes called her things he shouldnt have, and hes said dumb ****. but think about it, she takes us apart from each other, verbally abuses him for no reason, should he just be calm?
she gets mad when people give her reactions for her behavior.
smh.. all this, its just messing me up i swear.. i try being okay, when i am, things

crash down on me, and i have to start all over.
i truly hate being a teenager, and i wish i could stop growing up.
i wish i could speak to o.. but literally i would be kicked out, probably would have to live with my grandpa. over stupid feelings.

so, i choose to make both of us suffer. and i know, i KNOW, he still cares and loves me, because i feel it.
its so crazy, because i actually think we're soulmates, even though things are so mixed up..
istg, the day he changed his bio, was when i was wishing i could speak to him the most.
it sucks.

@Jexlo

@_Ghost_
being away can be so so hard. just stay stong.. and someday you guys will be able to chat again
im so sorry this is happening with you :(

@Jexlo i sure hope so.. thank you.. you actually gave me some hope..
i appreciate you so much.. <3/p
thank you for being here for me, when o couldnt..
if me and him do talk again.. i'll be sure to tell him how much you've helped me through all this.
i'm really trying my best to be okay through all this.. your helping me a lot..
you've always been here for me.. :( you dont even have to, yet you want to.. thank you again

@_Ghost_
of course! :]
i cant stand seeing my friends sad.. especially my best friends..
ill be here always :)

@Jexlo same.. but thank you! im always here too :)

@Jexlo @BearTrap

guys.. i know this is random..
but i gotta get off here..
i'm removing all my posts, and bio.
i'm sorry.. but i'm feeling very guilty.. and i cant risk being on here.. guilt is eating me alive.. and i cant stand it.. its horrible on top of everything else i'm dealing with..

please promise me you guys will stay on here for my return.. because i really love you guys.. your my best friends.. i couldnt have made it this far..

i might come back, but only to check up on you guys..

i will not post..
i'm sorry, but my mom just upset me yesterday.. long story.. but basically yelled at me for not being "trusted"

it rubbed me te wrong way, so i'm getting off..

i'll probably, maybe, be back, again, to speak to you guys.. but not so often.

i love you guys, be safe, okay..? <3/p

@_Ghost_
ill miss you so much..
i really really hope to talk again soon.
please focus of your mental heath.
i hope you the best... <3/p

@Jexlo thank you.. i'm gonna miss you so much.. i'm gonna try to at least keep talking with you.. because you help my mental health a lot..
i'm just dealing with so much right now, and guilt on top, is not very fun. :(
monday is gonna be awful..
maybe i'm silly, but i almost thought she would change her mind... she didnt.

i wish i could continue making art, and posting it.. because that also helps me a lot.. but i cant, because i fear too much.
it sucks, i'm 17, and still fear getting in troubl

but my mom was making me feel so bad about my past "mistakes".. does she not understand why i talk to people online..?
o didnt even understand..
theres no one by me..
im homeschooled, and have had no friends irl, since i was 12.

i'm not trusted by anyone, all because i felt alone. isnt that fcked up..?

but anyways.. thank you for being a great friend.. i'm very thankful for you, and @/BearTrap..
you guys help me so much, i really hope i do the same for you guys..

i'm sorry i'm going through tricky **** rn..

@_Ghost_
im so sorry.. please stay safe.. please take time to heal.
ill always be here for you. always dontever foget that

@Jexlo ilysm :( thank you.. i know i say thank you a lot.. but fr.. <3/p i appreciate you so much.. thank you also, for being so understanding..

@_Ghost_
anytime :]
i cant watch my friends suffer alone. ily <3/p

@Jexlo me either, i try to help the best i can. ilyt <33/p

i'm really dreading tomorrow.. i dont wanna give hazal back..
and yk what my mom said.. she said, "your a sellout, you would give up your cat for your phone a boyfriend"
LIKE WHAT????? who even said? its not even fully my choice. and who even said i was getting my phone and o back? she hates o.
why would she let me speak to him again?
AND WHY DOES SHE KEEP CALLING HIM MY BOYFRIEND. it hurts every time she says that.
she says stupid fking things.
today was good and bad.

good, because i drove a bit, on my moms frinds property.
bad, because shes been a d1ck almost all day.
when i try to stick up for myself, she gets p1ssed.

just a while ago, she dropped me of at my grandpas so i can be with my cat one last night. i was trying to tell her something, i didnt want my brother to hear, and once i got annoyed because he wouldnt go away, i said nvm.

she said i was playing games with her. WHAT?!
its her new thing. i'm a player now.
dude.

its so annoying..

i dont even wanna sleep, and i'm so damn tired.
i dont want tomorrow to happen.
the girls gonna be here at 11am.. so i gotta wake up before then..

why does everything, and everyone, get taken from me..?

i'm so tired of feeling for things.. :(

i truly wish o was here..
why does he gotta be so.. ugh..
i miss him..
its like my dreams are being taken from me..

jex, if i didnt have you to talk to.. idk where i'd be..

i forgot to @ you.. my bad..

@Jexlo

i genuinely hope your doing well though.. ilysm.. <3/p

@_Ghost_
im so so sorry this is a happening with you.
truly, i Would take all you pain if i had the power too.
just hang in there, please
im so so sorry, ilysm and i hate seeing you like this. please neber hesitate to reach out to me

@Jexlo i keep your words in my mind every day.. "just stay strong"
i wish i could truly explain how much i appreciate you as a friend.. your the best sibling in the world.. and ilysm..
theres no need to apologize, none of this is your fault. <3/p
you always seem to calm my hurting heart, just a little, thank you jex..

@_Ghost_
anytime :]
your so strong, and trust me, your dong great, ilysm stay safe <3

thank you so much..

the girl just took her.. i tried to stay strong, and smile, but by the end, i kinda cried..
but my mom is fr sorry.. i know i talked cr4p, and i shouldnt have.. my mom cares, she just has moments..
she told me shes gonna give me my phone, once she changes my number, so o cant contact..
ngl, i feel like everything just.. is gone.. :broken_heart:
last night, i forced myself to stay up so late... so i would sleep most of this day away.. but i dont think i'll even be able to..

i dont even want my phone..
i already know my moms deleted so much..
even if i cant talk to o, i still want those memories i saved, yk? :(
i miss hazal so much.. im still processing this.. i still feel like shes hiding some where in the living room..
but tonight it will kick in.. because she wont be here..
i'm glad i have memories of her, on my phone at least..

even though angel seemed to hate her.. for some reason, she actually looks sad too..
shes kinda looking in spots for her..

life sucks man..

@Jexlo
forgot to @ you :(

@_Ghost_
oh my.. im so so sorry... i really hope everything gets better.. :(

@Jexlo thank you.. <3/p

@_Ghost_
anytime :]

tbh, i'm happy for my cat, she's actually with her actual mom rn, and her siblings! :3 i'm still sad, but i'm happy for Hazal.
also, my mom is for sure giving my phone back, she has to change the numbef (sucks cause its my first number memorized :c)
she made me promise that i wont break her trust again, and stay away from O, and if i dont, at least be real about it.
but she told me to just give being alone a chance, and try to find irl people.
she told me some crazy stuff he pulled though-

she said he was threatening that he was gonna khs, and my mom said she was happy i didnt have my phone, because i wouldnt have been able to handle that. she right, i wouldnt went made, and gave him everything he wanted.
she told me the next day, he was fine.
i know he probably was feeling some way, but still, i wouldnt have handled that.
i'll always love, care, and think about O.
but my moms right, he's not good for me atm.
so, i trust my moms word, and i'll respect my moms word. :)

basically, i'm feeling pretty good today. ^^
i hope my mom will let me continue our friendship, and toby's friendship! ^^
and my other few friends here. i also hope she will let me share my art, as long as i dont contact O. :)
i dont know when i'll talk to her about all this, but yeah- ^^

@Jexlo

@_Ghost_
okk!!!
please do be careful though!!
just so O doesn't find you. :]

@Jexlo i will <3/p thank you jex! ilysm ^^

jex, my moms cat is being wayyyy to unusually nice lmfao-
purring, rubbing on ME- help why is she acting like thissshdhhhs

@_Ghost_
awwww! sweetieee :]
i LOVE cats bro

shes usually not sweet though :sob:
but sameeee :3

I WOULD HAVE A THOUSAND CATS IF I COULDDDGFHHDHD

@Jexlo

@_Ghost_
AHHDJFJJEJ SAMEEEEE :D

@Jexlo HEHEHEHEHE :cat: :cat: :cat: :cat:

@Berry-Bliss
OH-?
NEW USER!!???

@Jexlo YEYEYEYYEYEYE :3

ghost just didnt go with the personality, and theme of my account- lol
Berry-bliss is just cute :3 like my profile (i hope-)

@Berry-Bliss
yea!!
it fits well!!!

@Jexlo yayyy thank youuu ^^

im glad it wasnt taken!

jex
i justsmashed my joycons..... i got in a damn argument with @/Milotheonlu
i deleted my comments to aoid more zrguing and they are making fun on me for it to their dumb friends
i shouldnt have said znything
it was about venting
i even agreed with the graphic vents poin
and they were mean

i hate this place xo much
im only here for you an beartrap
you guys are my life

idk what to do i just want to delete everything

i hate them

@Jexlo

i hatd ghis place

i forgot how toxi it is

i said sorry.. i dont like fighting.. they can make fun of me, but at least i said sorry, right..?
i dont act almost 18, do i..?
thats why they think im a "lil bro" when their probably younger than me...
i shouldnt have said anything.. it was just a sensitive topic for me..

@Berry-Bliss
hey, its ok.
just try your best to ignore them. think of happy things :] saying sorry is always tye best thing to do. i reallyhope they aren't still making fun of you.
otherwise i might have a bone to pick with them.

yeah, they stopped.. they told me to dni.. it sucks, they were a great artist.. ): but im better now, im sorry for that @Jexlo

@Berry-Bliss
its ok!
im glad at least theres no more beef

@Jexlo yeah, same

@Jexlo why do i feel like crying.. :( like ik we'll still be in contact, but.. it just feels sad..
i'll write down your number, and i'll be sure to contact you when, and if i can..
i love you very much Jex, and if ever you need anything, please contact me. <3

@Berry-Bliss
I'm so sorry to leave so early. I'll miss you..
Just tell my once youve wrote down my number so I can delete it <3

@Jexlo oh my bad, i wrote it down ^^
and please dont worry, your mental health should always come first. <3 i just hope you be safe. hopefully my mom will understand our friendship... i will explain how much you've helped me, and supported me.. and how you've kept me strong though all this stuff with o.. <3
i wont tell her about me being here.. because- hah- but yeah, i'll try my best. <3

@Berry-Bliss
wishing you the best of luck :) <3p

@Jexlo <3

hey jex! ily, and miss you lots<3 i hope your doing better

@Jexlo

@Berry-Bliss
thank you :]
ive been a bit better. still feeling lke **** though

@Jexlo hey, at least your feeling a bkt better. :) thats improvement enough <3

Hey... my mom said i cant talk to either you, or O..
idgaf tho.. because your my bestie for life... and i'll keep your number foreve.. when im able to make my own decision, i promise I'll contact you.

im gonna be 18 on Saturday.. i cant believe it.. O is gonna be 19 in November... i miss him so much.. my mom deleted everything... every text.. gone.. she missed a few things in my photos.. and i will cherish them always..
i miss you jex, and i wont ever let anyone take our friendship. She thinks your just "someone on a game" but your more. She thinks everyone online is crazy.. i think different. You can find amazing souls everywhere.. your one of them.. you have helped me be stronger during my weak moments.. thank you. I love you very much/p <3 i will always stay in touch with you. You can quit this app, but please promise to stay in contact with me as well.. all you gotta do is go on this post..
im not going to contact O.. its taking every piece of me not to... but like i said, your a dear friend of mine, and i have to keep our friendship. Going on 2 years almost. i cant throw that away..
love you jex, i will be on here as much as i can.
i dont permanently get my phone.. i have to return it at nights, and sometimes i dont even get it for days.
i will check up on you whenever i can next. <3/p

I always forget to tag you -n- @Jexlo

@BearTrap i dont have enough mental energy to write a long message explaining the same thing... so that message is for you as well. <3/p

you both have helped me so much... i hope i help you guys as well.

@Berry-Bliss
ive missedyu so much.. i cant believeyour 18 now.. happy birthday!!! ill never ever EVER give up on our friendship. ill check this app now and then.. but it wont be often. (Ive been so so busy w/ school and stuff :<)
I hope all is well for you, and that things get better. remember, im hereif you need to vent, or rant, or for comfort.. im here forever, and im alwayshere to help. i cant promise ill be on the exact day, but ill try getting on more often to talk. bc honestly,

ive mostly forgoten abt this app. tho every time i look at my switch, i always check for notifications on thi app. and who knows, maybe someday ill come back fully. once ive gotten everything in place, and when if finaly found myself. but that may take a long long time.
so for now, ill just chat w/ you on here. ilysfm, please stay safe, and alwaysremember im cheering you on from far away!!!!

@jexlo your a dear friend to me... thank you so much for your words<3
ilysm :( i wish i could just text you like a normal 18 year old, but i can not..

I hope you are well and safe btw. <3

Hey if you have palia we can play together i got much to tell you :( has to do with what my mom did to o... idk how we find each other but my user is Syaa Si

@jexlo

Oh i figured out how to do it you just pus manage friends :) its a super chill game with no drama or toxic players thank god

@Berry-Bliss
oooo! is it on mobile??

@Berry-Bliss
i hope your doing alright.. :(

its on switch -w- but i quit playing ><
i have sky!! im kinda new to it, idk how to chat? it comes out as dots
but maybe you know how? i think you play sky?
i miss you so dang much :( so much to tell you omg...

@Jexlo

ilysm </3

i hope your well..

forgot the code </3 sky code: 163Q-F51N-SRBA

@Berry-Bliss

i have the game! ill play the next time im not busy with school work.. sigh.... i miss you so much, i cant wait until we can chat properly.. :(

Awesome!! Focus on your schooling of course :) i'll always be here! I cant wait until we can properly talk as well. Miss you lots :c i have sooo much to tell you. But when we are able to chat, i would love to get caught up with you first. ^^ @Jexlo

@Berry-Bliss
im available anytime!!! :D

just as long as im online T^T

Me as well ^^ i try my best to be online as much as i can! You gotta add me back on sky :3 and it is actually ava on phones as well hehe
cant wait to playyydbdbbsbs and chat :DD @Jexlo

@Berry-Bliss
Yesss!!!!!