"Not a lemon drop. A lemon. I said trick or treat to our neighbor-who-lives-in-the-apartment-on-top-of-us and she gave me an actual LEMON. I swear, our neighbors hate me.

And yeah, I bought an eyepatch from the drug store and called myself a pirate 'cause I don't got any mon--I mean, 'cause costumes are itchy and ridiculous! Yeah. Costumes suck. Only losers do costumes."

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