I was always there for her and she was always there for me. Bffs for life.
High School came and we decided that this was the year that everything would change for the both of us. We always do. But things were the same. People would trip us, push us over, call us freaks. Throw crap at us. But we didnt care. We were use to it. About half way through high school, we decided to face the fact that we would never find anyone to like us and from then on, we started dating. She was always kind hearted and sweet, and I was alway the one that would punch jerks in the face if they hurt her. I was much more tom-boy than I am now.
But it was about 2 years later since we started dating. She went to Amarica to vist some of her family for Chrismas. It was snowing and she was driving. I called her and was upset about. She tryied to calm me down but than I yelled at her. I was mad about something and said things I shouldnt have said to her. She tried again to calm me but I yelled at the top of my lungs.

But what happened next is something I'll never forget......

On my end of the phone, I herd a tire sreek out of control and Tiffany scream.ing. I heard glass breaking and than.....I heard a thunk.....what I heard after that will scar me for life. On the phone, all I hear was dead silents....It was the scaryest sound I've ever heard.....I tryied calling her name over and over hoping to hear her again. I didnt give up. She couldnt be dead. She cant be. I sat there crying out her name. I scream.ing her name. About a hour later, I heard a siren on the other end. I hear faint noises of voices. Than someone picked up the voice and asked me my name. I told them Mayu Utada, Tiffany's girlfriend. He asked if I was on the phone during the crash. Yes. He asked me what had happened. I told him that I was yelling at her over the phone, than I heard a sreek from a tire.
"Is-Is she okay? please...."
"Ma'am, your friend is dead."
Those words left my completely speechless. I couldnt believe it. It had to be a dream. He told me what happened:
(contine below)

He said the car was going25-3Omph. Not fast engough to sket on snow. The phone was found in her hand when they found her. When I yelled at her, she lost control of the car and swirved off the road and ran into a ditch. And the airbags did not deploy. He also told me that dew to safety regulations, I was never to be yelling over a celluar device while talking to someone driving. I was charged and went to court for what I did, but I was proven innacent by her family's forgiveness. But I could and never can forgive myself for what I did. I said things to her that I could never take back. Her last momments on earth was me yelling at her. Her last memory in life was me, the one person she could trust and beleive in: yelling at her. I still live with that horrored memory everyday. 11 months has past since then, but I'll never forget.
It is beause of her that I wanted to be someone that cared for others. I wanted to help people when they're sad or depressed. I wanted to be just like her.

@Sumomo: I-Im alright.....I promised you I would be strong about this.....

You should always stay strong mayu no matter what happen. Good luck with the rest of your day or night.

I need to go to sleep. Tomorrow my first day of school, let see if the stupid cycle repeats this year as well

@soul: okay. goodnight.

Oh my gosh... I am so sorry, I don't know what I can say... I'm here for you, Mayu. We love you.

Wow... I didn't know the FULL story before... that's really something to have gone through. :l You know... the person in the whole world we must ALL learn to forgive is... ourselves.

....Mayo.....*hugs* Im sorry