-for school to start. i have some wonderful friends that i haven't gotten to see all summer that i really miss. i feel like my mom psychologically keeps me from them. because i askes if they could come over but she said our house doesn't look good and she wants to clean it first and i've offered to help. but she STILL hasn't done it. this has happened multiple times. and i can't ever go anywhere with em because im afraid that she thinks i'll do something naughty. even though i haven't done anything to make her think that.

ok. so it's mostly my mother i hate being around.

*hugs*

i dislike my mother being annoying too. dun worry, you'll get time away from her. calm. i know EXACTLY how you feel. the friends and everything, except my friends don't even care about me. i'm just.. kinda there. i haven't been to a friends house or hand anyone hang out for YEARS. relax, things could be worse

^my mom barely lets me GO anywhere with anyone after school w/out asking me five million questions. she also doesn't want me having any "more than friends" relationships. cuz "idk enough about dating since i'm too young". it's one of the reasons why i had to break up w/ boyfriend. but the other reason i broke up w/ him isn't important right now. she thinks that because she made ALOT of bad choices (according to my sister; whom she told these things) when she was younger, that i'll make em too, even though i've been brought up to know better.

i never had a boyfriend. relax. i don't get to go places anyways. unless it's with her or my half brother. (he's like 30 btw) relax. seriously.

she makes me mad. i might need to have my brain tested for it's mental stability after i turn 18 and am gone. she drives me nu.ts. and she acts like me and my big sister are demon children, while my middle child brother is a saint

My mom... i've almost kiIled/hurt her because she made me so mad. i literally almost pick up a knife next to my hand and sta,bbed her with it. instead, i destroyed a chair in anger/frustration. relax. i held myself back, but i have pushed her and slightly hit her arm before. she pushes me too far.
and she's nearly 60 with back and hip surgeries. she's pretty frail. and yet she gets me mad enough to almost strike her. i even threatened to shove my fist up her azz. i ment it. we sometimes get into the worst arguments.
FRICKEN RELAX. IT COULD SERIOUSLY BE WORSE. CALM DOWN. I LIVE 24/7 WITH PEOPLE I WANT TO KlLL ALMOST.

...i'm sorry... i'm letting it build it up w/out finding an outlet.... you do have worse problems. i'm just upset and i'm starting to get lonely.....

i have no outlet either... but venting online to your friends may not be the best, that's why i try to not vent here. lately, friend have been super depressing, su,icidal, and such which is only making it worse on me. i'm like, f,ucking done with all of this c,rap.
i feel lonely too. ......

i have only a couple good friends. and they don't really like dealing with drama... and they haven't messaged me in alittle under a month and they haven't offered much explanation... so i feel like this is the only place i have... but i try not to vent here like this.....

idk..... none of my irl friends talk to me outside of school. the handful of people i have here is all i got.

i know how it feels with the friends *hugs you* a girl i've been friends w/ since we were five only txts me for a ride to school in the morning and only hangs out w/ me when she wants me to give her something.