Story, characters & art (c) me
#DragonologistStory #SAStory
Sorry kinda boring change. And I failed on the blood. What happened to my blood skills?? D:
Anyway this chapter contains violence. You have been warned.
Here's the chapter:
Suddenly my dad charged into Snowdevil with all his power. Snowdevil lost his balance and dropped Frost on the snow. Snowdevil shook his head and growled. “HOW DARE YOU!?” he snarled at my father. “Stay...away…from…my...CHILDREN!” My dad roared and he breathed blue fire in Snowdevil’s face. Snowdevil roared in pain and rage. “I’LL DESTROY YOU!” He roared and he bit my father’s neck very hard. My dad roared in pain as Snowdevil bit harder and harder, crushing his bones. “Hehe…how does that feel little lizard?…” ” Snowdevil grinned and slashed my father in his face with his claws. My dad let out a weak cry in pain. Suddenly Snowdevil roared in pain and let go of my dad’s neck, my father collapsed on the ground. My mother had managed to get up and was now pulling on Snowdevil’s tail, trying to rip it off. “STOP THAT YOU LITTLE LIZARD!” He snarled at her and breathed a huge light blue fireball in her face. My mother let out a weak cry in pain and let go. She was still standing, but she was trembling. “You’re still standing eh?..Hehe…well not for long…” Snowdevil chuckled. “S-stay away…f-from her…” My dad said very weakly, but he couldn’t get up. (tbc in comments, please wait with commenting)
The Colors! Gallery moderators will look at it as soon as possible.
Comments
10 May, 2014, 10:51 am
"You can't do anything you weak lizard..." Snowdevil said with an evil grin on his face. He turned to my mother. "Goodbye...little...lizard..." He said and he breathed a huge yet of light blue fire at her. My mother collapsed on the ground...dead... "NO MOMMY!" I cried and ran towards her body. I hugged it and nuzzled with it, while my eyes were blinded by tears. "This isn't real! This is a nightmare! I want to wake up now!" I broke down crying. Frost stared at me while tears were streaming down his face. "Frost...F-Frost...c-come...h-here..." My dad said in a very soft weak voice. He wasn't dead yet, but he was dying. Frost quickly ran towards him. "Yes dad?..." Frost said, trying his best not to break down crying. (tbc)
10 May, 2014, 11:00 am
My father looked terrible. His eyes were dull, he was very skinny, his neck was bleed heavily, and blood was streaming out of the three claw marks on his face. "Frost...I-I'm dying now...I'm so...s-s-sorry that I can't s-stay with you...P-promise m-m-me...that..y-you'll...t-t-take good care....of your...little...s-sister..." My dad spoke to Frost. His voice grew weaker with each word he spoke. "I-I promise dad...I promise..." Frost's voice started to break, and more and more tears started to stream down his face. Dad smiled weakly. "I'm p-proud of y-you...my l-little b-boy...You're...a strong......dragon...." Father took a last deep breath...Then he died....
(end of chapter 3. You may comment now)
10 May, 2014, 11:04 am
I see you improved it a bit! BTW, you made a typo. It's bleeding, not bleed. xD Also, I think the illustration has a BIT too much blood.
10 May, 2014, 11:05 am
BTW, you forgot the colon again. :P It should be "Snowangel's Story: Remastered - Chapter 3" Just telling you.
(Sorry for being a grammar nazi)
10 May, 2014, 11:12 am
@PSTP It was gonna be less blood, but then you could barely see the change. And da.mn typos! WHY DON'T I NOTICE THEM WHILE I'M WRITING???
it's annoying. And sorry but I don't think I'll change the title.
10 May, 2014, 11:16 am
Why not? It just looks ugly. It's gramatically incorrect, it just looks bad. It kinda bothers me. Sometimes, I have the feeling you use bad grammar with purpose. Also, making such a small change does not "change the title". The title is the same, except that it's more gramatically correct.
10 May, 2014, 11:21 am
...PSTP please just let it go. Sorry but i just don't care that it's grammatically incorrect. I won't change it okay?
10 May, 2014, 11:27 am
okokokokokokokokokok! Fucking god. -_- I was just trying to help you. No need to go all "ai wunt cheng et oke? i liek tawkin wif bad gramer" (Don't take the last part way too seriously)
10 May, 2014, 11:28 am
inb4, Garson and his friends start attacking me.
10 May, 2014, 11:28 am
.....okay...that...hurted...
10 May, 2014, 11:30 am
I still just don't get why. I mean, I tried to help you, and you just refuse to change it. But when I help you with typos in the stories, you change them. It's the same thing. I just don't get why someone would write something gramatically incorrect when they know what is correct, sorry. :/
10 May, 2014, 11:31 am
Great, just great, I offended you again. I'm leaving Colors! for today. I don't wanna get attacked again. Bai.
10 May, 2014, 11:31 am
Pstp, just let it go...I just don't freaking care okay?...I'll just go...I'm only annoying you with my bad grammar, I'm just a f**king annoying stupid girl.
Bye...
10 May, 2014, 11:31 am
*Because I
10 May, 2014, 12:00 pm
Aww noo! D: I almost cried while reading this! It's so emotional! I'm also about to upload the first chapter of that wolf human series.
10 May, 2014, 1:11 pm
Grrr, Snowdevil... This was a somber chapter. I am immensely enjoying this story.
10 May, 2014, 1:37 pm
idk why but when I read this chapter I always think of the song safe & sound. It suits this chapter in my opinion.
10 May, 2014, 2:26 pm
Poor dragons.... How dare Snowdevil just turn up and kill their parents like that?! (The blood in the illustration looks great to me, BTW.)
10 May, 2014, 4:12 pm
Thank youzzzzzzz! And i'm gonna cry now (why snowdevil why?)
10 May, 2014, 4:54 pm
@Sage WolfArtist You're welcome. And yes Snowdevil is very cruel. He is an as.shole.
@Everyone thanks guys. I'm glad you like it!
10 May, 2014, 6:07 pm
snowdevil is soo evil! that was so sad. T_T
10 May, 2014, 6:08 pm
*blood... O_O
10 May, 2014, 7:10 pm
Am I the only one crying right now!? Jesus, that was deep!
10 May, 2014, 7:31 pm
@majik Again sorry for the blood xD
@Doodle art I actually almost cried while writing this chapter on the computer.
10 May, 2014, 10:25 pm
Wow this is,.. like--- *beeeeep*
(i am speechless after this, but in a very positive way. Your writing skills are astounishing (sp) ! Please don't leave us waiting for to long, Elena)
11 May, 2014, 8:25 am
@Emma Aaaaah I still have to fix the next chapter and edit the illustration. Da.mn why didn't I do that yesterday. I'm glad you like it though.
12 May, 2014, 12:19 pm
Typos? I guess you wrote the story so well that i didn't notice any.