Hi Angelbear1! Ignore the picture. :P It was just to not attract attention. We can talk here if you want. I'll check it every time I go on Colors.

No problem, thank you so much! Your the best! HUGS

You're welcome! *HUGS* If you'd like to talk about what's happened, I can listen or give encouraging thoughts.

As for me, I've met someone who I like a lot and it's possible it may become romantic, but for now I'm content being close friends. His dad had to have a stint put in his heart and there's been other stresses in his life, so he's really appreciated having me to talk to.

Also, a friend of mine was being hara.ssed by a guy at school and so I helped her write incident reports to get him suspended, but afterwards I sort of felt sorry for the guy because he was treated so badly by people that all the name calling probably made him lash out and become a bully. I have this issue of never seeing anyone as a villian because I see how circumstances have shaped them and I believe that everyone deserves a second chance, but sometimes I have to put someone's safety first. I believe bullies can change, but first they must be stopped from bullying.

I've been working on a photo book of the cats for Christmas too. I really can't wait for school to be out, because all these as.signments are driving me crazy.

So, how about you? I know what you've shared already, and it seems like way too much all on top of each other and right after what you've already been through, but surely there are also positive things to focus on too?

Wow I just spent the last hour commenting, to find out it disappeared?

This is creepy, I hit post comment. Then it said log in, and poof gone.
:(

I was logged in to......whoa

I poured my heart out. Maybe that's why it disappeared?
Oh well.
Hope your doing okay!
*MEGAHUGS*

I've had comments disapppear too. It was always when I really thought things out for a while and formulated my thoughts. The first few times really upset me, but I've found out it's when you take too long that it logs you out. Then, when you click log in, it loads a blank comment box, but if you click back after logging in, it sometimes will reload your comment. I'm sorry. :( Next time, just type in bits instead of one long comment maybe?

Oh okay. Thank you for the update on that. I sure miss swapnote, at least we could get it threw, may have taken many swapnotes to explain things. But, oh well I'll get used to this. Miiverse is different to me to.

Which my Miiverse name is angelbear1. To many names and pass words to remember.
Hope your doing okay.
*MEAGAHUGS* always

I helped out with a Christmas program at the library after school today and i have finals tomorrow and Friday, but after that I'll be on break for a couple weeks.

Yeah, I miss SN too, but this'll have to do. I started to make a Miiverse account, but RogueRanger, Rogue-Ranger and Rogue_Ranger were already taken, so I figured I'd focus on other things for now. Do you think Miiverse seems like something worth taking the time to come up with another username for? I don't know much about it.

I don't know much about Miiverse myself. I did see you in my streetpass cause we played ACNL together.

Wow, you are busy. Hope you will be able to enjoy your break.
How is your friend and his dad?

I am still going threw up and downs, to much alone time here. But, try to still look for positive things, and try to pray allot. My mind runs twenty four seven, and I keep things botteled in. But, I am an adult, so I tell myself to grow up....lol
*MEGAHUGS*

*MEGAHUGS* Being grown up doesn't mean "toughen up". That reminds me of someone who commented telling me to "man up". No one, regardless of age, should be expected to "just deal with it" and face life by themself. This individual separation starts from when we're infants and left in a room alone at night to cry until we feel isolated and abandoned and stays with us, disguising itself as "independance", but I believe it is one of the great evils of this world. If God had wanted us to live our life with no one's support, He would have put us all on separate planets. Instead, we literally can not exist without two people. We are intentionally given problems that we can't handle alone so that we come together with others. After all, everyone goes through hardships, so evertime we help support someone else we also support ourselves. We are all con.nected through love. Anything that tries to separate us is not of love and therefore, not of God.

His dad had to have a stint put in one of his arteries, so he's been worried as well as had to do things for his dad. Though we've been busy, we've still had a chance to talk. For not talking at school, he's a real talker once you get him alone. :3

Sad today. Had to go pick up a glider swing from my best friends house. I still can't believe he kil led hiself. Not only was he my best friend, he was like my son. I used to tease him that I was going to drive by and steal his glider swing. Now his family lets me have it, which I am grateful, but I didn't want it this way. I already have so much from Miah, and after the funural, my daughter and I went and picked up the cat, who is so traumatized cause she was in the house when he did this. Up and down. My hubby tells me to let it go, how? I'm sorry to lay this on you. I'm stil lost without Angelmae, everywhere I turn, I find things of hers. Plus Miah being over here to help me, and now he's gone.

I am lost, sad, mad,upset, everything. And people on colors talk about...man up, grow up, depressed, ending their lives, it's like I want to scream out to the world, stop and look around.

*HUGS* People are heavily influenced by this society. I don't want to say this world, because the world was made by God and society by man. Still, I try not to blame the people for the way they've been influenced to think. It's like always being in the dark. You don't know anything else, so the light is an unknown concept or myth to be laughed at and made fun of. It's hard because one person's pain can so easily spread. One person takes his life and everyone around him starts to question things and try to make sense of everything. One break unravels the fabric of life, which just goes back to prove my point that we are all con.nected. We're like a forest of trees. On the surface we all look separate, but beneath the surfact, we share the same root system and those roots touch and intertwine in ways invisible to us on the surface. The only way to deal with pain in a lasting way is to express it, to let it out, even scream if necessary, and to have someone there to comfort you. It's too easy to close ourselves off after being hurt so deeply by opening ourselves to someone, but that works both ways. Pain can come from that con.nection being severed, but healing can come from another con.nection being strengthened.

Do you feel like you have people in your life you can turn to, who will listen or even cry with you? The cat will also need someone too.

One thing that has helped me is a strong belief I have that I will see those who have died again. That, and a lot of crying. Don't hold your emotions in or "man up". Let it out. And I mean more than saddness. Let out the anger at life, the longing, the regret. Don't hold it inside. Your pain is not your own. *HUGS*

Not again :[
lost my post to you

Try it again later. Guess it was to long :'(
Nope it wasn't

*MEGSHUGS* I agree with you about society. Also that we will see our loved ones again.
I have no one to cry with, or to. My mom says...don't dwell, let it go. Everyone around me says the same.
Yep I want to scream at Miahs girlfriend, she knew he was going to do it, and didn't stop him. She is in hiding.
Poor Penelope kitty, I know needs help to. I try. She eats but, not to lovable yet. Wants to be, but she is so traumatized. I am trying to help her the best I can.

Will add more later, due to my comments disappear.
HUGS

"Don't dwell. Let it go." -_-; People repeat what they've been told way too often. It's only easy to move on if you never felt much of a con.nection, which goes back to society encouraging people to be emotionally distant. "Well, you won't get hurt if you never care." What a cold, cruel world this can be. Sometimes I just want to force these people to really sit down and anylize what they believe and why they believe it. I'm willing to bet most of them couldn't back up their beliefs without realizing just how heartless they are. Bottom line: You can only "let it go" by expressing emotions, "letting them out." Otherwise where's it going? And "don't dwell" comes from the darwinian belief that events are random and meaningless rather than something to learn from. I'm not saying to obsess over something you can't change (the past), but to let yourself feel its impact and not try to hide it inside. Let yourself care deeply again and not close yourself off. In the end, maybe they'll realize that's better than never really dealing with life's tragedies.

*HUGS* Oh Colors....

Thank you!! *MEGAHUGS*
I will get back with you, my friend
: )

Ok! Btw, I'm working on new art. :3

New art....yay! Can't wait to see it!
:D

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas!
*MEGAHUGS*

Love your new art!
*HUGS*

Merry Christmas! *HUGS* :D

Your doing okay? Checking in, hope your doing better. Love your art, ss gave me a cookie. Sorry if I already told you any of this, going through some stuff again. And plus I am seeing allot of people leaving colors, sad. Well my friend, I will try some art myself soon. Take care, *MEGAHUGS*

Honestly, I know I shouldn't let it upset me, but some of the drama on Colors has. I'm going to start a new collab for New Years and that should help. Since you don't want to log out of your username to log into a shared account, is there anything you'd like me to add to a future collab painting? I also want to find a way to make people feel better. It seems like no matter how hard I try or which approach I use with my art, people are still depressed. Can you tell me what in the past has helped you or what you think in the future would help? In the mean time, I guess I'll have to keep offering you *HUGS* and cookies! *gives a whole bunch of cookies*

Being with friends or family, having a time. Everyone smiling.
Course I love angels, stars, space, beautiful colors, gee allot. I give it more thought, and let you know, k?
Take care
*MEGAHUGS*
Thank you for all the cookies : )

Idea, Having a good time. No drama
:D

Ah, no drama, of course! :D I think we'd all like that. I'll probably come up with a few ideas.

I knew you would come up with ideas. Your very artistic and have a great mind. I love all your art, and ideas.
I really laughed about not drawing me to short. You really can cheer me up! Thank you so much! Got drama going on here at home again, so I truely love your caring heart, and making me smile/laugh, thank you so much! :D
*MEGSHUGS*

Yes, you have my permission. I put it under #thenewcolors
I hope I did it right.
Thankk you rogue for supporting this. Sorry you may have to walk me threw this.
*MEGAHUGS*

*HUGS* There's too much drama in the outside world, which is why Colors should be an escape from that. I added the tag to my profile for now and I'll work on ways to spread the message soon. My collab group still hasn't finished our new years collab, so we're a bit behind. :P

Sorry but I'm leaving. Tried on colors, but can't take it. Got to much going on in my life.
Thank you for everything.
Oh I have my ******** to my angelbear1 account.
HUGS

Pa$$word

I still will check in, k?

Well, if you ever feel like talking about all that's going on, you know I'm here. I'm a little busier than over winter break, but I will always make time for you. Sometimes just writing things out helps. But if you feel like you need to focus on other parts of life right now, do that. I trust your sense of priorities as far as what needs your attention. Just always remember that you have made many friends who will support you whenever you ask. Don't try to take on too much by yourself and remember to rest and look after your own health. It's too easy when a lot is happening to neglect little things until they end up becoming big (like if you don't get enough sleep and end up sick). *HUGS* Take your time, but remember you're not alone.

I'm still going to promote #thenewcolors more and use your message like I promised. *HUGS*

Thank you so much!
I am taking your advice, when I get the chance we can talk.
Glad you came to my town in acnl! I really love your style!
Take care of yourself also!
MEGAHUGS!

You're welcome! *MEGAHUGS* :D

I'll be uploading the #thenewcolors painting tomorrow. I hope you like how it came out!

Hey you, got a favor to ask. Can you please tag the pic of angelmae to my #angelbabymemorialart
If you don't want to, I understand.
*HUGS*

I added it just now. I just had to change a small part of the description to fit it because I always fill up my painting descriptions. I guess I always have a lot to say. :P Btw, thank you again for the ice furniture and I'll keep trying to get more pink and purple flowers. Since you like rainbows, I thought it would be nice to try to make a rainbow path through your lighted arch once I have enough colors. I added more purple around your town hall and some orange elsewhere while I was there last night.

Thank you so much! Your so AWSOME!
Did you see I am able to upload my old art?
Yay! Thank you for helping me figure it out!
:D
*MEGA ANGELBEAR HUGS*

oh yeah
#thenewcolors
#angelbabymemorialart
#giftsforangelbear

You're welcome and yes I saw! Yay! ^_^ Though right now Colors seems like it's loading slow for me, so it might be my wifi again. You know, since you said you have your pas.sword, if you ever want to get adventurous, we could try collabing on something together. Just something to consider.

Oh, let me go add #giftsforangelbear to that painting I made for you last year...

Due to the freezing weather here, my wifi is running slow or not working. So I understand.
Thank you for tagging the Angelmae for me! Your a great friend! I will explain what's happening as now as soon as I can, k? Take care, hope your doing better!
*MEGA ANGEL BEAR HUGS* always!

I'm guessing you see that "Loading..." screen a lot on Colors too. It seems like a lot of things are happening at once and it can be overwhelming, but you're not alone. *MEGA ROGUE RANGER HUGS*

Are you okay? Remember, I'm here if ever you need to talk.

About something you said about being afraid to cry because you might just break, but I found that the crying and scr.eaming I've done has actually helped. Just something to consider...

*HUGS*

Are you okay? Sorry still dealing with allot, and yes crying and *scream ing. Your right it helps, but, then more problems hit, but, I'm hanging in there.
I want to thank you for everything! I know I'm not on here much, also hiding my status...sorry, I do try to catch you.
I guess Shelie haven a really hard time, I tried to make a place like this for her to vent with me, but I don't know how to upload it. :(
I did have to replace my 3ds, and the transfer took forever, then downloading, and all. But, I did it right this time....yay!
Try to check in when you get a chance, k? I know your busy. Hope all is fine with you!
MEGA ANGEL BEAR HUGS, ALWAYS!

Aside from allergies and needing more sleep, I'm fine, just really busy. I'll try to keep in mind that you may be online even when I can't see that. Oh, and I can make a painting for you two to chat on. I'll just scribble something like this so that no one else will pay attention to it and I'll give you a tag for it once I'm done. I'll get back to on that soon. *HUGS*

I'm sorry to hear this. I hope you feel better soon! I understand how allergies can get.
Thank you, for helping me, and no hurry, k? I want you to get better! Take care.
MEGA ANGEL BEAR HUGS always!

Don't worry, I've had allergies my whole life and am used to them. I've made a painting just like this for you and Shelie. Use the tag #AngelShelie to get there. You can tell her the tag privately or have her delete your comment telling her the tag after she's read it and that will keep it secret too. And I'm hoping to have more time this weekend since President's Day is coming up. :3 *HUGS*

Thank you very much rogue! I will let Shelie know some how.
I am leaving colors for awhile, sorry. I can't take the saddness colors has become. I'm sad enough, so ACNL for me.
Tony is still on meds, my mom isn't talking to me, she the type who only wants me and only one of my * daughters in our life. I can't be like her, I faught all my life to not be like her. I love all * and that's that. If they all came over I'd be the happiest person. But, she's mad cuz my youngest showed up from out of town four days ago. She's only forty two miles away. My oldest (moms favorite) is fourteen hundred miles away. Tomorrow my middle daughter will be here, she will have a cow. Oh well, I love her, I pray every night for her, her lung cancer is stable, and I still worry myself sick over her, literley sick. My cousin back home has cancer all threw his body, taking chemo and radiation, isn't doing good. In and out of hospital. It's a mess. Sorry had to vent.
The snow here has melted....yay, but now it's rain and freezing rain at times. I am really thinking of moving to a warmer state. Been here to long ovibously for all the wrong reasons. These are times, I wonder why I was adopted...sigh
I'll keep an eye out for you on colors and games. Love the collab you all did. Take care, try to slow down.
*HUGS*

Awww... *HUGS* Why are people going through such rough times? Hang in there and maybe things will work out somehow. Though honestly the only thing I can think of that you really have control over right now is if you did move someplace warmer. It's not much, but it's something. Each person has to make their own decisions and live their own life, your mother included, but we're not meant to make decisions alone. Sometimes we can influence people and, maybe it won't be sudden, but maybe over time they can change.

*HUGS* I'll try to catch you on ACNL. I'm going to see if anyone has managed to make any blue roses and, if I do manage to finally make some, of course I'll share those too. Take care and keep checking in because people here care about you!

I'm trying to breed as many blue roses as I can so that I can start giving them out! I also have some more colored tulips for you whenever I next catch you on ACNL. :D

I was wondering if you happened to keep the box for your 3DS by any chance? In every 3DS box next to the instruction manual is a red and white paper that talks about joining Club Nintendo. On it is a coupon code that you can use to get special things from Nintendo. I heard that during the month of March only, the code can be used for a free Pokemon X or Y game. So, if you don't already have Pokemon, you could use the code online for a free game. Also, if you happen to have more than one coupon...could you maybe tell me the number of one you don't plan to use? If not, that's fine. I know most people seem to throw away their boxes, coupons and all. :3

Yes, I keep my boxes, and I am a club nintendo member. Also I have pokemon y, I will be glad to check and see if I have one for you, or try and get one.
Sorry we keep missing each other, I have been at drs and then had to take my daughter in, plus Tony dog.
But, not to worry, I'll check on the code for you k?
:D
*hugs*

Aww, thank you! And I know you've been busy, so take care of health related issues first. I'll let you know when I'm finally ready to launch the Bully Free Zone. *HUGS* :3

Ummm hello? Haven't heard from you, or caught up with you, since the jelly bean thing. Are you mad at me?

Of course I'm not mad at you! I've been very sick and spent the week in bed. My eyes were too watery to focus on a screen, so I couldn't use the 3DS. I'm very slowly recovering now and still need rest. Before I became sick I was spending a lot of time trying to keep up with all the requests for help from the Bully Free Zone. I'll have to see if I can get more help this time around. But please don't ever think that if I ever disappear for a bit that it's anything to do with you. I doubt you could even accidentally upset me. That's just not who you are. *HUGS*

I have a lot of schoolwork to catch up on because I missed so many days, but I'll also try to catch up on what I missed on Colors too. Oh, and since March is almost over, if you can't find that Club Nintendo code that came with a 3DS within the next couple days, don't worry about looking.

Even though I'm still focused on Bully Free Zone while I'm on Colors, I still check this regularly if you need to talk...

Oh my I am going through so much, it would take me a week to tell you everything. I try to catch you, but, so much is happening, I end up late catching you :(
I do hope your feeling better, and that you can slow down.
HUGS ALWAYS

Well, if you do find time, you can always type it here. I know we both have so much going on in our lives, so maybe leaving a message here for the other to reply later is what will work for us for the time being.

Yes, I agree. I have to have surgrey on my spine. I'll be honest, I am very scared. My middle daughter walked out on me, hurt me bad, so now I have my youngest, but, she freaks out so bad. I feel all alone. I came back to colors for a few, just to get hassled by the holy jelly bean, changeing his account name twice now. He ran off allot of our people. This upset me very much also. On my Bright Sun Shiney Day pic, he started it. I posted a warning to all. But, got no where, except Lucasd let me know who it was. So I unplublised it, because super star and a few others kinda got upset with me. So I gave up. So much is happening. I'm sorry to hear your dealing with health issues, and your exhausted. I can explain more, when you feel better, k?
MEGA ANGEL BEAR HUGS
I miss my little brother!

I know surgery is always scary and you don't need me to list the reasons it's unnerning to think about, but I also know that you're strong and have made it through so much. Compared to some things, how bad can surgery be? It's not stronger than you, obviously, so hang in there! And it seems like everyone has issues going on in their lives right now, and your daughters are no exceptions. I know you do what you can because you love them, but they have to make their own mistakes to learn sometimes. I just pray that the learning process is not too long.

As for Colors, I must have missed your warning pic while I was sick, but I did notice that the holy jelly bean's profile had been deleted. I didn't know he came back though. sonic bro's (or whatever his username became) account was deleted as well as proartist's because Colors is more strict than it was before. They're trying to make Colors a safer place, but really many times it's up to us.

Our house and yard suddenly became filled with fleas, so we've been going through this huge process trying to clean and get rid of them, but they keep appearing and we're all getting bit all over. It came on so suddenly too. So a lot more furniture moving, yard work, washing, etc. So still busy busy busy.

Aww thank you! Your right about the surgrey. Your the best! Your so right, I'll make it, just freaked cause I don't want to be paralized. You really should become a thera pist! You can always cheer me up and get me to stand strong! MEGA HUGS ALWAYS
As far as the the holy jelly bean, he keeps changeing accounts, and I fogot how to block him. :(
Oh my fleas, I have been dealing with little ants. They're everywhere. So I understand what your going threw. These ants bite. Poor Tony dog with his illnes, is getting bit by ants along with the rest of us. He is still on prednizone and all. Iam so wore out trying to do what your doing, but my drs are about to knock me out. I told them someones got to do it. They are tryen to get some help for me to get things done. But, in the mean time, I still am moving furniture and all, slowly.
I hope you and your family can get rid of all the fleas, you need rest! I am waiting on fleas, cause I know as soon as the ants are gone, the fleas will be here...

cause of the change in weather. :(
But, I am ready if they do. I hope.
Well I best take a quick nap, so I can get up and start back on this house.
MEGA ANGEL HUGS, PRAYERS to yoj

That's what I think too, that it has to do with the sudden change from cold to warm, though my dad said it felt like the end times plagues. He's more allergic to the bites, so each one is huge and bright red, but I'm just more annoyed with the itching. The thing is, the possums suddenly all disappeared about a week ago and I can't find them. Not only am I worried about them, but they eat the insects, which is why our ant problem was a regular thing that stopped when they showed up. In other words, the ants may be next. I may have been tired of the cold, but if warmer weather means bugs, the cold weather doesn't seem as bad as I thought.

Hopefully you can get some help and try not to overdo it. Trust me, I know firsthand how overstressing the body can really wreck things. *HUGS* <--no fleas will jump on you with virtual hugs, don't worry! :3

I know how you feel, about the cold. So sorry to hear your dad has it so bad with the bites. I get that way at times. How are your bites? I know your allergies have to be out of control, mine are.
People around here shot our possums, made me so mad!
Ran over my squirel, I am really planning to move. This town has gone crazy! Which doesn't help me. I wanted to buy my Jeremiahs house, but it still in probate. So thinking about going down to Alabama, not sure yet. But, really considering it.
I hope and pray things get better for you!
I made a happy pick, it was a quick one, manely for you, but didn't want to leave otheres out. You light up my life rogue! HUGS Always
Oh Shelie finally got ahold of me.
Thank you for making a special place for me and Shelie to chat!
Your AWESOME!
Love, Hugs, and Prayers!

PS
How do I block @the#man?
That is the holyjellybean
I forgot, sorry. He will not leave me alone.
HUGS

Click on the red trash button to delete his comment and it will give you the option to just delete that comment or to block the user from ever commenting again. You can also click report the user as one of the options on the delete comment screen, but I get the feeling he'll just create a new account. And we had tried to help him...

Awww, you're welcome! And thank you! This week is my spring break (finally!), so I hope to finally have more time. Though, the fleas are still unstoppable. I'm constantly picking them off me and vacuuming and salting the carpet, though the cats have it worse. And, yes, my allergies have been bad, but I'm not allergic to insects, so it could be worse than it is. I also never cleared up my abdominal infection, so I'm still having a lot of digestive problems.

That's terrible what people did to the poor possums. Possums are very timid creatures whose only defense is literally to faint, but many people are put off by them looking sort of like big rats. It does seem like things are crazy here too, so I'm not sure if Alabama would be better or maybe have issues of its own. Whatever you decide, always move someplace you want to go to, not just to get away from somewhere else. After all, no place is perfect.

I wish real life were more like Animal Crossing.

I hope your Easter went well! *HUGS*

Every time I vacuum, they jump on my clothes or furniture or something else and every time I wash my clothes they jump off and every time I shower they're waiting for me after and when I put more powder outside they swarm me, but now they somehow got in the food. -_- I certainly hope things are going better over there with the ants.

Btw, I hope you don't mind that I tried addressing The Holy Jelly Bean/f zero on your painting. I'm just trying to find a way to change him because other people were angry at him and that didn't work and, when his account is deleted, he just makes another....ugh. I'm really sorry ypu have to deal with this on top of everything else, but maybe just click to delete and report his comments to Colors. Maybe after enough accounts being deleted, he'll give up on Colors. I just feel sorry for anyone he then goes on to bully in real life. He needs help, but I don't know how much I can do.

How are things going with you?

Starting tomorrow, just two weeks left of school! I hope I haven't felt too distant for you. If you still check here that is...

It has been so long since we have talked. I have been wondering what is happening, by your status quotes. I keep missing you. Please let me know what is happening. I miss you!
*hugs*

Well, let's see... I'm finally out of school. My finals suffered a lot because I was tired, exhausted and distracted. After the possums left, fleas took over and we went crazy trying to get rid of them (using safe nontoxic methods of course). Then the car broke down, then the garage door. Then our neighbors put a tent over their house to spray for termites and I was worried about the cats getting currious and crawling under, but when the tent came off it turned out our neighbors had been robbed of everything valuable. Then Grand Paw, an old cat who started making this his home last year, became sick, but we were out of money. He died last weekend and I burried him in the back yard after cleaning him up. He had hundreds of fleas that probably weakened him. Meanwhile, Tiger wouldn't eat and was so skinny and I was afraid for her too, but by getting her flea treatment, she became better so they must have been giving her anemia too. So I'm physically and emotionally exhausted.

I am so sorry to hear all this. I to am dealing with fleas. So I completly understand.
I am sorry to hear about your finals. Your under allot of stress. I wish I could physically help you.
My stress level is over the top, and colors is just going crazy. I see your trying to help, but, rogue, you have to take care of you! I know colors can be fun, but, everyone is just causing drama, stress and buling. Sometimes I'm afaid to even try and help. Allot people just don't9 care. But, in order to help some. they to see what they are missing. Who I ran into a few months just want to continue all this, itbis sonsad!.

I know what you mean. I keep seeing drama and arguments. People have forgotten this is an art gallery. But the thing is, when I upload people's bullying problems to BFZ, a lot of people do show up to give advice and try to help, so it's not like everyone's causing drama. And, yes, I understand my limits. That's why it's good to take a break if things become too stressful. Also, I've been trying not to get involved directly in the drama. In fact, most of the time I don't even get what's going on or why.

Got a favor to ask you. How can I set up a place like this, for me and Ethan to talk? I am trying very hard to help him. Afraid he is going to do something stupid. Please this is between me and you, k? I am so sorry I keep missing you! It seems I have been living at the drs, trying to take care of Tony dog, the house, my mom. Overwhelmed by everything.
Good news about Tony dog, his blood work came back perfect. So now got to get allot of weight off of him due to the steroids he has been on.
My town in acnl, is a mess :[
Lost two people, two new came, and my special flowers are about gone. I am still in May.....sad...sigh. I keep wanting to take my 3ds to the drs, with me, but forget. So much has happened, and still more stuff hitteng me. Sigh...
I hope your doing better, I miss you so much!
Well hun, hopefully I will catch you soon!
HUGS always!

I guess I could upload another painting like this to this account and give you the tag. Or, you could invite him to an early painting in your gallery that no one goes to. Would either of those work?

And don't worry about your ACNL town. You have to focus on real life first. And I can bring over flowers whenever I happen to catch you on ACNL.

Okay, here's the tag for a place for you two to talk: #ethanangel. I hope it helps. It also sounds like you two live in the same state, if I read right, so maybe you can work something out?

Sorry, but I'm rather tired right now and will call it a night. I hope to catch you soon!

Thank you very much! I knew you could help me.
I am from Ohio, only 6hrs away from were I'm from back there. I am from Bellaire, Oh just this side of West Virgina, actually if I crossed the Ohio river I would be in Wheeling WV. I am now stuck in Illinois. Hate it here. I don't really want to go back home. But my Dream is to move to Arizonia. Although, I love Ohio, West Virgina, Pennsavania, New Your, and Tennisee. Ethan is in Ohio, but, not sure what part. Like I was telling you, he is planning to run away, or do something. So I told him, I would help him get threw this, without him running, or ending his life. I know I can be honest with you. And I want to thank you for that, your truely like a little brother to me! I am sorry to hear you are so worn out. I have been worried about you for awhile. Please try to keep in touch, k? Feel better soon.
*HUGS*

6 hours is still quite a ways, but it's better than however far it would be from here in California. I've actually only ever lived in California and the fa.rthest east I've been is Nevada, so I can't speak for the rest of the country from experience. I do know though that stressful times can make people contemplate drastic measures.

And, yeah, I have this habit of overdoing things, like having five people want to start their collab with me at the exact same time, but also I had been thinking about the fragility of life and sometimes retyping the comments people leave in BFZ about what they're going through can be depressing. I just wish this world were different. but I guess it's not going to change on its own. We have to change it.

I hope you're keeping cool. Itgot over a hundred here today.

Hey you. Wow it's been forever. I have been sick for so long, it has affected my depression. Never knew depression can feel like a broken heart. Course still lost from loosing my friend/son last year, and Angelmae. My moms cancer has spread. My cousin back home has five months to live the drs say. It's cancer to.
Sitting here day afyer day alone really brings me down. I never feel like going anywhere. I am months behind on ACNL. And course nothing really on colors. I could go on and on, but, I want to hear about you. You and your family is sick to? I do see your bfz on colors, I like but, don't even have the energy to comment. It's getting cold here now, that doesn't help. I really wish I knew what brought all this on. I was doing okay, then one day everything changed. I think about you allot and hope your fine! Maybe I should check out the enddepression, and really get back involved in you bfz, it may help, if I can help somebody. Will you please let me know all about you? I got so ..

much to let out, it would take forever. I miss you! Wish we had swapnote. Anyway, get with me when you can. Sending you mega angelbear hugs!

*HUGS* It's been 5 months since we last chatted on here, based on my last message. It was hot and now cold, though it seems like it goes straight from summer to winter. I don't know if you get an actual autumn where you live. I wish I could sit with you on those lonely nights. I think the key is focus. Life is not all good or all bad, but when you are looking at a bad thing, it's easier to see other bad things. However, if you focus on one good thing, you see more. For example, a sky can make you think of a sunset or the land below it, but pain can make you see more pain. I'm not saying to ignore loss or not deal with problems, but try not to let them control your mind. It's your mind, so if you ever feel like you're stressed over things, you have the right to give your mind a break and think about other things. Believe me, I know how hard it can be when it's just one thing after another, but I try to see the big picture. Life is more than this existence.

We are infinite beings in a finite world. Nothing is random. And, remember, you can always reach out and talk online to people here. I know it's not physical, but people are spiritual beings and we don't always need the physical. As for wanting to give advice, I've found that something is harder to start again if you stop for a while, but once you start, it gets easier, so really it's just having to force yourself to get back into it. Once you're going, it's easier to keep it up, rather like inertia, an object in motion remains in motion and an object at rest remains at rest. It's going from rest to motion that takes the most energy.

As for me, I've been trying different things for my allergies and digestion and feel like the combination I'm doing now is working. I gave up all drugs, prescription or over the counter. I was reluctant to try them, but I was desperate. It turns out that glucocorticoids inhibit the body's natural cortisol production which would have made me dependent on it. I was already dependent on my allergy med, so I decided to try teas and vitamins for allergies along with aloa vera and fiber for digestion. My parents have not been feeling well either. They're sick right now too. The cats have been sneezing as well and Mr. Fluff continues to scratch his fur off, leaving bloody patches under the skin, but I'm trying to balance his diet to decrease his hyper itchiness. Most of the fleas are gone, but he's always been sensitive. My best friend irl has also not been feeling well, but I try to spend a lot of time with him. Because of our close friendship, I'm often tempted to call him my "boyfriend".

I wish I could hear from you more often... I hope you're doing alright. I know this is a difficult time, but you're not alone...

Wow, been trying to get on here to talk to you. My WiFi is driving me nuts.
I see you went to the Dr, how did it go? I miss you so much! I think of you all the time!
Hope your doing better!
As for me, I'm hanging in there. I emailed you, not sure if you got it. As you know, I am out at moms allot.
Take care please!
Lots of love and Hugs, always!

Wow, I need to check this more often! It's been a month. I guess I stopped when you weren't on for a while. Still, there's many ways to contact me. As for the dr, I got sick right after and it didn't seem to help, but I go again on Friday, so we'll see. I know they do the best they can, but there's a lot that we don't understand about the human body, drs included.

I'm not sure when you'll check this, but I was wondering if there was anything you wanted to discuss privately, like maybe more about @Boobear? I'm just giving you the option. I'm fine talking openly. *HUGS*

I read what you wrote about your argument with your husband, as well as all the other things going on, so we could talk here or email if you want. Or, if not, please get some rest and I'll keep praying for you. *HUGS*

I having trouble with my laptop :/
But, yeah, my husband was argueing with me over a rebel flag, knowing my ex husband was very abusive, and tried to kill me and my girls. My ex always waved that flag at me, and treatened to stragle me with it. He did have me about dead strangling me, but, luckly, a freind of mine got him off of me. When I got myself back to breathing and all, I don't remember hoe I got a small ball bat, and cracked his skull open, he was so messed up on drugs, he didn't hit the floor. I threw the bat and took off running and called the police, I thought I'd go to jail, but, they seen my hair all pulled out in one spot, the bruises from him kicking me with steel toed boats, and of course the damage to my neck from him strangling me. My husband now has been very mentally abusive to me since I took over taking care of my mom. He also tried to punch my middle and yougest daughter, and I backed him up. So he screams out rageous things to me, and hits walls, doors, ect.

The things I went to counceling for five years, over my ex, my childhood, my mom, he has opened back up. So now I'm in councling again. He doesn't trust me either, always thinking I'm seeing someone, when in fact last year HE gave me an STD. :'(
Then I get on colors, to relax and I get jumped for not tagging my art mature, and you know I don't judge, but, all these people posting they are trans sexual, attacked me. Rouge I didn't do anything to them. Plus the foul cussing is outrageous!
I feel lost, as you know, and all this happening, I couldn't take being blamed for something I did not do. And why does my art need tagged mature? I was freaking out!
Then the rps, where they are actually having cyber s^x, I guess you'd called it went way to far. So I did say that as descret as I could, that all that should be tagged. Plus begged these people to stop following me, and commenting on my things through the internet. I couldn't get them blocked on the internet. But, I think they stopped.

I did get their comments deleted.
This is how I feel, what or who people are in love with, is their buisness. But, to accuse me of being a homophob, really got me. It's crazy, you know, I'm not like that, and using the foul languege and threatening to kill me was crazy!
So, that's allot of it.
I don't discriminate, or judge.
But, I'll admit I was betting very angry. Then Praying for forgiveness over feeling so angry.
I just got overwhelmed. I'm sorry. Plus more things go on colors, acnl, and stuff, like above things on colors.
Please your good at advice, maybe you can help stop this.
Oh, and Ceta explained I need the passcode, and all to colors-united. I do have my password to this account, k?
I love you lil brother, and hope I'm not stressing you out.
Talk to you soon.
HUGS!

So your ex was abusive and now your current husband is too? You know I'm a very forgiving person, so I believe your husband can change, but you also need to think about your own wellbeing as well as your daughter's. Are you afraid of your husband? Can he be reasoned with if you two sit down and talk calmly? I know he has anger issues, so maybe he can work that out with a councilor the way you work through your past with a councilor. You can't make things better if you just help yourself, especially since his behavior is a cause of problems. Maybe try doing something special for him to catch him off guard and dispell any foul mood he may have. Before the surprise wears off, tell him that you love him but that his anger really scares you and you'd like for you two to work things out with a councilor, either together or separate if he would prefer. Be honest with him, but stand firm that this is something that needs to be done.

And remember, as humans it's our instinct when someone raises their voice for us to raise ours to meet their volume, but fight that instinct and instead lower your voice. People tend to lower their voice in response. Try to be calm or things will escalate. Also, does he know about all you've been through? Maybe ask about issues he's dealt with and listen and offer comfort. Also, people with anger issues need to avoid alcohol at all costs, so there are programs for that too. I'm not saying it'll be easy to convince him, but maybe he also has friends or relatives you can talk to?

Colors should be a place to escape all that you listed, but understand that Colors is also what people bring to it from their own lives. Forgive them because we're all learning and finding ourselves. I'll write more later after I help my parents. :3

Sorry, there were so many things to move after dinner now that the weather's heating up and then my parents think I'm being too nice to this raccoon and need to scare it off. So, anyway... :3 If people leave negative comments, try ignoring them. If you get upset by them, you could argue and then it'll only get worse. Of course, if they repeatedly threaten you, you can block them from commenting. I'd only use that as a last resort though. I saw someone commented that they need your help to win some battle or something, but you need to avoid anything like that. If you comment supporting anyone, it could be seen as taking a side. Politely decline if you're asked to help "get back at" or "win against" or "show them who's right". They will need to work things out themselves. You can instead upload art that encourages people not to fight.

None of your art is mature, but the people saying that may have had their art tagged as mature and are mad at that, so take it out on whoever. Similarly, being transgendered is very difficult in a society with strict gender roles and transgendered people are the group with the highest rate of vio.lent crime commited against them by percentage. So, some of them may be defensive and even lash out. I'm not saying verbal abuse is right. I'm just telling you why they may act like that so you can understand them and won't be as upset and it'll be easier to forgive them. You have many friends and there are many friends you have yet to meet. Keep them in mind when you meet people that upset you. Also, forgive yourself when you get angry because it's a natural reaction. Being angry at yourself for being angry obviously makes more anger. God never expects us to be perfect. Focus on avoiding things that upset you on Colors for now, so you can deal with your husband without more stress.

As for Colors-United, in order to upload art to that gallery itself you'd need the account's password, but that would mean you'd have to log out of Angelica1 to log into Colors-United, so ONLY consider doing this if you are certain you remember your password for Angelica1 I know how you still miss your Angelbear account, so I really do NOT want you to not be able to log back into Angelica1 and lose access to another account too. I'd feel terrible if that happened! So, let me know if you're positive. In the mean time, you can still do what I do and upload encouraging art to your gallery. *HUGS* I worry about you, but I have faith things will work out for you. I don't know everything, but I try to give you advice that I think might help. :3

Here goes, my husband mentally abuses me. He doesn't trust me, and he's the one who had one affair in our first year of marriage. I did get him to go to marriage councling, but, he only went a couple of times. Also talked to our minister. Things go okay for awhile, then boom, right back to not trusting me, threatening to hit my daughters, telling me when I can and cannot go anywhere. I have been honest with him about everything. 20 years, and really nothings changed. Last year, we still are trying to figure out who he messed with, because, I went to my obgyn, for my check up, to find out I had an STD, I about died, right there. He swears he did not do anything. Yes, It was treatable. To this day, I can't trust him. I'm scared, confused, and my girls are to. His own mom, wishes, I could just walk away, and move to Alabama, where she is. But, right now I can't leave my mom. The first affair he had, my father, sister, and brother in laws, told him, he really messed up a great marriage.

I did kick him out, but 30 days later, I let him come back, and we worked threw it, at least I did. I want out, but, can't support my self, due to my spinal stenous, and other health problems. Disability here is very low. So I'm lost. Sometimes, I just want to run. Now, I have to take, anti depressants, anti anxiety meds, stomach meds, due to all the trauma, during my child hood, two ex husbands, and now him. I feel like a failure. I know this must be very shocking, but, I need to get it out. I trust you. And you give me strength, and hope. I feel the Lord brought you into my life for a reason.
I worry about you so! You seriously are like a brother to me!
Also, he we don't drink. He used to allot, now he may have a beer once in a blue moon. At times I drink, red Italian wine, drs orders, cuz I get enemic, due to me being Italian. But, not allot, or to get drunk.
I'm sure when my oldest comes up in Sept. from Fl. he will drink allot. He always drinks with her.
Anyway, I could on & on...

..but, I'm sure I just shocked you really bad.
I hope your okay!
Your very special to me!
I'm sending you Lots of Love, Hugs, and Prayers, always!
btw, yes, I know the password to this account. k?
More Hugs!

You don't need to worry about shocking me. I'm just concerned because you've already tried many of the things I thought might help. You've tried counciling for him and you've tried working things out, but you say that 20 years nothing has changed. The next thought I would have is space away from him, but then you say you can't afford to do that and don't want to leave your mom. You've managed to make it through so many things that most people would have faced and given up, so you're anything but a failure! You're a success! I know, that probably sounds hard to believe, but you've been worn down by your husbands, your mom, your past and even your health, making your self esteme low. It's not unlike someone who was mugged and beat up. Being hurt isn't a sign of weakness, but still getting back up is a sign of strength. I know it's a struggle and being burdened by all this is hard to bear, but you've made it this far, so please believe me when I say you are not a failure.

If someone has an easy life, with no struggles or challenges of any kind and they give up, that would be a failure. But what you've been through has shown you have strength. I may not know everything, but I believe there is a purpose to all this. Maybe it's to strengthen you for a higher purpose. You could be influencing the lives of others for the better. If no one ever struggled, no one would ever need to help anyone else. Struggles exist in this world for a purpose. They bring us together and strngthen our spirits, the way a sword becomes stronger against the hammering and the flame. I wish I knew how to change things in your life, but I feel that, if you pray about it, you may discover your higher purpose.

I know you worry about me and I worry about you, but maybe we worry too much. Have faith that things will work out. The password is @iLikeCookies10 and the upper and lower case and symbol matter. Maybe making a collab with me would help relieve some stress. You could start a painting and upload it set to Private and I could add to it whatever you want me to. It's your choice. And I'll tell you if I think of other options in dealing with your husband. I know you want to just run away from it all, but you don't. It's scary and stressful, but you're not alone. *HUGS* I'm here for you, sis!

I am in tears, because your so awesome!
You basically said what my councler that I seen for five years, then she retired. I miss her, but I'm thanking our Lord, I have you! I believe you brought into my life for a reason!
And I'm proud to have you as my brother!
Thank you so so so much!
Yes, when I can, I really want to collab with you!
I'll let you know okay?
Sorry, my tears, that are happy, is really rolling down. So kind of hard to see.
I must say, I love you, and I'm hugging you so tighly!

Awww, *HUGGLES*! I agree that God brought us together for a reason. There are no meaningless random events in my opinion. :D And, at least, if both your councilor and I said similar things, it should be easier to accept it's true. :3 Just let me know about the collab. I'm patient and have plenty that always keeps me busy. In fact, I don't know if I've ever been bored. XD