I can't go on like this anymore. It simply feels impossible when there's more negativity than positivity.

Curse my bad, horrid blood. My own parents who won't accept me, my brothers that our unkind god cursed with autism, and curse the blood that runs through my veins that sustains my own life. The blood tainted with ADD and possibly schizophrenea.

I hate the people at school. The administrators who decide "learning standards" and the teachers who don't bother going against it. I especially hate the adults who don't reinforce my good and simply beat the dead horse of trying to push uneeded info into my miniscule brain. It simply doesn't work and I receive low grades, only to be reprimanded by the adults I call my parents.

Life's hard. That's a given. But we're never burdened with more than we can handle. You are a strong, brave, fierce individual who I know can face the hardships of everyday life, those of which adults will never understand. However, you don't have to go it alone. We're here for you, no matter how hard. I'm always willing to listen if you need to talk or rant or whatever it may be. Just remember that we will always be by your side, no matter how hard it gets. If you want to chat for a bit, I'm here. :3

i'm here too but i'm glade were friends!

Did I mention my "peers"? Every person around me at school, all my age physically. If only they have the same maturity level. Is it that difficult to shut your ra.cist mouth? No? Alright... That's not even a big issue. It's the people who silently mock me--the ones who have left me alone in this cruel burden called "life." I see the people I miss the most on a daily basis, and what can I do about it? Nothing. Literally nothing. Once someone hates you, their opinion doesn't change. Never ever.

School is probably the worst of it...but my home life is far from enjoyable. Each day I come home and sleep only to wake up, eat, do homework, maybe draw or another pleasure, then go to "sleep" and stay up talking to the few who keep my life worth living. Usually I get nothing productive done, and it's rare that I'll have any face to face social time now. I don't get the good in socializing...I just prefer to be alone, okay? No. Not okay. It's not healthy and you can't maintain friendships like that. At least, that's what my parents say. Okay, maybe I don't want friends right now. I can't surround myself with people I like because I'm never around anyone who's kind or anyone who acts with some form of maturity. I don't want friends right now. No. That's wrong. I'm not sure why, but it's wrong.

I type this now as my co.ckatiel sits in my lap, playing with a string off my shirt, and as I wait for a response from my boyfriend who so kindly tolerates these kinds of moods from me. I'll go to sleep tonight, and get up in the morning to see my few friends at school. I'll joke and laugh and smile, and maybe things will be okay then.

So there is reason I live this wretched life. Huh. Well don't worry too much. This is simply a vent. There's too many people I'd sadden if I suddenly decided to leave this world. Just...know I'm not feeling good right now and don't get angry if I act out...please...

-end-

I hear you with the maturity part. I live on a quarter-mile long dead-end road with no kids on it besides my little brothers. And I'm homeschooled. I tend to see other kids my age once every week if I'm lucky, because sometimes Boy Scouts is canceled and then I don't see other kids at all. Even when I do see the only 2 boys my age in my nowhere town, one of them (my best friend) often acts like a 10-year old, and the other want's nothing to do with me. (I still don't know why.) Colors may very well be the only place where I talk to people my age who actually ACT my age. (Sorry if this sounds a bit like a rant. :T )

im so sorry for you...

Everyone has to vent sometimes. Better than keeping it pent up inside until you explode. :3

Passion, we're always here for you. Don't give up. If you need somewhere to go, you know I live nearby. I know we haven't met directly, but if we can keep going in life, maybe someday we can. I had a crappy time at school today. Stupid people who can't tell the difference between a fish and a brick wall. It's like this everyday for me, but I keep moving. I move because I know I can escape to this wonderful community on my 3ds. I have kind friends on here who help me. You help me, I help you. All of us support you. Believe that.

Well I might not have big words now, but all I will say is, don't give up, we've all been where you are right now, there's a rainbow at the end of the road.

Hey man, count your rainbows not your thunderstorms :3

I hope you feel better soon...

And I hope things get better for you soon...

I wish i could be with you right now. You were my first follower and you seem so close to my heart. I'll pray for you, i promise. If you don't think on the negative side, you might feel better. I feel so helpless now, that i can't do anything for you :'( Maybe you would like to talk on game chat in Pokemon X/Y sometime?

I feel you Passion. The name you've given yourself here is so fitting. You speak so intelligently about these things that I know you will be fine. Stay strong, good things will come. Take comfort in the things that offer it to you, and push out all that wishes to harm you.
Sending you positive energy,
-Roxxanne