You don't get it, do you? You've never been depressed, right? You know how sometimes I say nobody is there for me and you say you are? Well, last night it sure felt like you weren't there for me. I got upset over stupid things--I'm perfectly aware of that. I apologized, didn't I? Well if not, I'm apologizing now. I shouldn't have made you feel bad. I'm so, so sorry...

...then the last thing you said...that in essence, you were done trying to help me. Something about letting me feel however I want. Apparently you think I want to feel like this.

I don't know why I'd want to feel this way. I feel like shadows are clouding my senses. I feel like there's a dense fog in my brain. I feel like my emotions have taken a gun wound to the chest. I feel like there's a demon sitting there, hovering over me, outlawing positivity. I feel like reaching into my brain and tearing out the illness within. I feel like cutting open my heart and letting it bleed so not only will my love die, but I can die at last, without a care. I know I've said it at least a hundred times before--"I want to die." I'm not forcing that feeling on myself. It just keeps coming. Why? One simple word, dear: depression. Everything I've listed above is a symptym of that one tiny word. I wonder what it'd be like if I told you I had some horrid disease of the heart that left me in constant, unbarable pain. Would you care then? Would you leave me then or would you try to find a cure? I don't know. I'm never that physically ill. Only emotionally.

I have a hard time saying how I feel, I guess. I'm sorry about that. Maybe you don't know what I'm going through. I'd never just allow you to feel sad and alone...but now I'm the one feeling more sad and alone than ever.

Whatever happens, I still love you, and always will.

I know you'll complain about me posting this here, but I'm not real sure how else to tell you all this. I felt most comfortable saying this here--plus my followers know I get upset...they try to comfort me...and I guess that matters. But not as much as you.

Excuse me while I drink my tea and cuddle my bird...I've got a day off of school to try and ignore the throbbing pain in my throat.

I am so sorry that you are going through that. I have never felt like that. I hope you can beat the deprassion.

Passion.... :(

Mine feels like this huge pit in the ground that I'm always sitting on the edge of. Things will distract me and lead me a little ways away from the hole but I always end up back by it. The tiniest most trivial thing will push me off, into that dark pit. Sometimes I can hang on to the edge and try to pull myself up. But then one more little thing happens and I fall. There is something down there, in the dark. It holds me there untill IT wants to let me go. It makes me not want to be happy. I just sit down there, ready to cry, sad and or angry, a storm of both, untill I finally wake up some time later back on the edge.

Rhi... I'm so sorry :( Depression... is one of the worst plagues of humanity

I'm sorry..... Depression is hard. : ( I know you can beat it, though.