I'm not ready and I never will be by pocketbuddy
What happened? Why did I throw it all away? My mind told me I didn't want it and I broke someone's heart, probably. The first person who loves me unquestionably, I just pushed away like it was nothing...
Is there something wrong with me? Am I afraid of her? Am I just not cut out for romance? ...Am I ase.xual?
Maybe I should take a break from here. I feel guilty that I embarrassed one Colors' famous users. She was so sure of me and I let her down. Aren't I a jerk?
#vent #evanisacryingwreck
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Comments
23 Jun, 2013, 9:24 am
i like to help! need some help :D
23 Jun, 2013, 9:36 am
awwh *hug* what happened!? you can tell me over sn.
23 Jun, 2013, 1:12 pm
Is there any way I can help out? I don't like to see people sad, especially you :c
23 Jun, 2013, 2:04 pm
^Hey guys. Thanks for the sympathy on my side, too. No, seriously. Doing great. Woke up in tears in a ball.
23 Jun, 2013, 2:56 pm
...I still love you. Why are you so stubborn..? You are ready, you're just chickening out. What can I do to help you see that you are?
This is probably making this situation worse. I can't stop crying. I feel hollow inside.
23 Jun, 2013, 9:52 pm
oh my my...
23 Jun, 2013, 10:20 pm
In short, I acted stupid (nothing new) and got into something I couldn't deal with, so I tried to end it. Now me and Kittilot are both sad and confused. I don't really deserve any sympathy, since Kittilot's the one I hurt. I'm just feeling sorry for myself.
Thanks for your concern, though.
24 Jun, 2013, 4:07 am
its none of my biz but why shame? arent you a teen? you're young...and you're supposed to not be ready, not be ready for affection,love, and that big test lol i think its ok to be confused and stuff...pfft you've got all the time in the world !
24 Jun, 2013, 11:11 am
It's just... I'm ashamed I hurt her. She's been through a lot and I just inconvineinced her further like the moron I am.
This was the first time in a while I've felt so terrible.
24 Jun, 2013, 2:56 pm
@leafninja did u give her a sincere apology that was really from your heart? if you did then what else can you do? you tried your best...p.s if you keep punishing yourself you'll never feel better
24 Jun, 2013, 5:13 pm
I knew you were crying for a reason... I guess there isn't much to say, however. I'll talk to you about this, but you didn't want to before, so I don't see that changing. Whatever the case may be, you weren't ready for...things that I'm not quite sure you were worried about. And you know what? That's okay. Knowing that beforehand would've been nice, I know. But you know now. No need to push yourself into an uncomfortable situation. I know you're not asexual. That's a silly notion you need to never get in your head again. You just weren't ready; that's all there is to it. As long as she knows you're sorry, this can all be swept under the rug and fixed soon enough. Things will be okay.
25 Jun, 2013, 3:09 am
Wait..... wtf are you talking about? um! um! Nevermind. Just feel better!
27 Jun, 2013, 8:48 pm
Hope things work out Evan. :c